1. No Shit Sherlock The phrase "No Shit Sherlock" was big when I was in grade school. Its synonyms are "duh", "well duh!" and "no shit" among others. Not only do they denote a waste of writing, but they point out that the dialogue before was a waste of writing for your listeners. So why use them? Consider also that if your hero says, "No Shit Sherlock" to any other character, they are pretty much a douche bag for pointing out someone is being obvious. If your character is a villain, there are plenty of other ways to show that. Please disuse.
2. Other Tired Dialog Cliches Some of these have come from Gaia's Voyages and I apologize. Certainly that show is not the worst offender but my hope is always that these entries informs and not flames. Phrases like, "Don't go there" and "I don't need that picture in my mind" as well as others grate on the listeners nerves. They are phrases that seem over used and out of place.
3. Out of Character Dialogue Each character should have his or her own voice. If you read your dialog out in a scene (one line rarely is enough) to someone and they don't know which character is speaking it, you're in trouble. This is especially important in large casts. Remember a different acting voice or vocal effect is no replacement for the actual voice of a character. Phrases like "Now, see here" is not something I would ever hear from a character that wasn't a bit of a snob, or British, preferably both. The phrase "Now, see here" I don't think I've ever heard in my life outside of a formal debate.
4. Dialog is not true speech This is a tricky balance. Dialog written in novels often sounds terrible and unrealistic read aloud (Except for people like the aforementioned Leonard or other great writers like John Irving and Nora Roberts). If you want to hear how people talk. Go to a coffee shop with a notebook or a small tape recorder. People talk in half sentences. They interrupt each other all the time. They stop halfway when they say something stupid, and they whirl around a pile of different topics. The trick is to take the hurricane of human speech and stick it in your pocket. Don't make dialog your way of telling what happens in a story or giving background to someone's character, unless you can use it to hint at elements. You shouldn't mimic true speech, but you should try to approximate it.
5. Overwriting I've mentioned this before, but writing too much dialog can slow down a story to a dead crawl and make listeners just what the heck, if anything, is going to happen. This is a hard call, because depending upon the story and genre, perhaps the dialog IS the story as in the classic My Dinner with Andre. However those kinds of stories need to be paced well, and they need to reveal deep character points that draw the plot forward. A good rule is, if the scene does not forward the plot or develop the character, it is a wasted scene. This goes doubly so with dialog. Say it succinctly and get it done with!
6. Repetition. Keep away for constantly repeating a word constantly. The constant use of that word will constantly get on someone's nerves. A good writer will try to use the best word for dialog, and while human beings are often prone to having a shallow vocabulary in speech, it doesn't mean we all need to hear a repetition of a word or phrase unless its for comedic sake (as in a call back line), a verbal tick of a character, or designed to emphasize something within the plot and even then that can come across heavy handed when done poorly. Phrases like, "My head doesn't want those images in my head" should be edit to something like, "Don't want those images thanks." It's clear that they will be in your head. It's clear what the person's thinking. It's more like real speech, and its conservative in its usage.
Dialog can be tricky, but you'll do yourself and your listeners a good turn if you but follow the above suggestions and keep this in mind:
Omit if you can. Rewrite if you can't. Limit at all opportunity.
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